I wish I could hug you right now...
I wish I could grab you and shake you and tell you that the story you're telling yourself is a lie.
I wish I could sit you down and replay the story of your life... so you could see it all for what it is... yes you've had ups and downs and your world doesn't make sense some of the time... but GOD look at what you've built!
You have a man who freakin loves you. You have children who think you hung the moon. When you walk into the room the whole place lights up and all eyes are on you. That's what happens when you inspire people... they feed off your energy. And you my beautiful friend... YOU can take the darkest night and turn it into a billion stars. You're like a magnetic force field.
Stop telling yourself you're not enough and that you can't come out of this season alive...
You can... Lovely... YOU CAN.
I wish I could hug you right now and tell you that this storm won't last forever.
I wish I could tell you the pain will only last for the night and joy comes in the morning... but WHY the HELL would I say something like that... Just look at your sky... look at the size of that storm... I will not diminish it or pretend it's something you can escape today.... no my beautiful beautiful friend... I won't tell you those things... Instead...
I will tell you... it's okay to bleed out. It's okay to bury your head under the covers and stay there awhile. It's okay to settle into the ache. Don't run...because this won't be the first or last time you feel pain like this...hunker down... settle in... feel it with everything in you.
The shaking will come.
The sobbing may come too.
Then there may be moments when you feel nothing.... nothing at all.
You will look in the mirror and wonder where the old you has gone.
And ya know what... that's okay.
It's okay if the storm changes you. If you come out scarred and if you see the world a bit differently.
That's called the aftermath.
But hold on.... another season will eventually come.
God I wish I could hug you right now...
I wish I could hug you and sit with you and promise you the what comes next is better than the here and now....
The problem is... I don't know that for sure... but I do know one thing for certain...
YOU will rise out of this.
Joy will come again. I just don't know when.
But when the time is right... you will greet the day and the sun will shine in a way that reflects a sliver of hope... and in that hope you will find YOU again... you will find JOY in spite of it all...
And Lovely...
When you do I will be there... just as I am right now... because that's what friends do.
We stay.
We don't leave when our world goes dark... We stay and we hug it out and we remind each other we are strong.
My beautiful beautiful friend....
Don't forget you are strong...
and don't forget I'm not going anywhere.
Man I wish I could hug you right now.