One day... we will find ourselves saying goodbye. We will say goodbye... whether we like it or not... whether we want to or not... The moment we depart this life... isn't up to us.
And all the little things that matter won't matter so much anymore.
It won't cross our minds...
The reason for that last fight. The grudges we hold like pots of gold. We act like unforgiveness is a badge of honor. I have a feeling it will be the last thing we wanna carry to the grave.
It wont cross our minds...
The bottom line in our bank account. How much we owe in taxes and if our 401K is as padded as it needs to be. We will likely wish we'd spent more and saved less... created memories for the leaving behind part... that none of us can escape.
It won't cross our minds...
If our kids graduate from college. If they carry on the family business. Their GPA will mean NOTHING. Instead... we will hope we taught them to live and love well... we will hope we taught them to breathe and not take themselves so seriously. We will wonder if we played enough... if we laughed enough...did we teach them to live young...to follow their own arrow...did they ever see us HAPPY? Did we ever see THEM happy?
It won't cross our minds...
The cars we drive... the house we live in... how many Gucci purses line our closets... or the Chanel that hangs on the hanger... we can't take it with us after all.... those things just don't matter now.
It won't cross our minds...
The reason for the fallout... the story behind the divorce... the breakdown of the relationship...as we get closer to the goodbye... we will likely wish for one more day... to make it all right..except we can't stop the clock.. we can't freeze time... and we will be left with what we are left with... the undoing of it all.
It won't cross our minds...
To wanna run from the hard. To wanna flee from pain. We will wanna face it all head on... because in chasing the hard... we face down fear... and none of us wanna leave this world fearful...We wanna be able to say we lived life believing in something... not running from it.
We wanna say goodbye after living out our best non-fiction...chapter by chapter.
We wanna check out of this place with stories to tell... mountains we climbed... valleys we survived... we wanna leave with scraped knees... and banged up hearts... proving we showed up for the good parts.
When it's time to say goodbye... none of what's on your mind right now... will be on your mind then.
We don't know how many moments we have left to collect... I don't know about you... but I wanna be that little girl again... you know the one who chases fireflies and holds them in a jar for safekeeping...
Except instead of fireflies... I wanna chase all the things that will prove I lived and loved well... I wanna hide them away in photographs and journals and leave them behind after I'm gone...I wanna document the smiles and the tears... the failures and the wins... the people I've met along the way that changed me... that built me... that restored me.... I wanna tell stories that prove goodness exists... that light is more powerful than the dark... and evil can't stay for long.. because love ALWAYS WINS.
I wanna do all the little things that matter...before It's time.. to say that one word... we think we've got all the time in the world to say...
Goodbye.